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  • 2 days ago
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jesus-would-follow-me:

the size of your thighs, or your waist, doesn’t matter

its the size of your bank account that we really care about

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  • 2 days ago
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puppetcams:

The year is 2540, a student in history class notices something off about his textbook. “How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999?” The teacher puts his air-marker down on the table, lowers his head, and sighs. “Because…” he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, “… only 90’s kids remember the 90’s”

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  • 2 days ago
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pau1y:

what if 911 called you

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  • 3 days ago
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heavywavery:

thisshitfunny:

company gm: so what are your skills or talents 

me: 

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company gm: wooooo shit gotdamn boi 

you got the job matter fact take my job

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  • 3 days ago
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dangerouspoetry:

dangerouspoetry:

my dad just came in and tossed this at me saying it “came with the paper”

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I’m nearly a 20 year old man

update:

I gave in

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her name is stephanie

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  • 3 days ago
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arthurdentistry:

werecarrot:

abortion won’t stop because you made it nearly impossible to have clinical support

LGBT people won’t stop loving each other because you banned marriage equality

sex won’t stop because of your abstinence only education programs

LIFE WON’T STOP BECAUSE YOU DEEMED IT IMMORAL IT WILL JUST BECOME MORE RISKY

"If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve."-Jellos Biafra

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  • 3 days ago
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im so fucking sorry

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crabbyjammies:

gymnosofi:

mypatientvessel:

Dude.

My dad was telling me about these girls at his old college who invented a nail polish that paints on clear, and if you stir your drink with your finger with the nail polish on, it will react with the “Date Rape” drug and turn red.

Dude. It’s genius.

http://www.2lovemylips.co.uk/

I saw this before and didn’t reblog it because it didn’t have anything to say how but now that there is a link saying how I wil reblog it.

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  • 3 days ago
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